Tell them to keep their bloody heads down!
March 14th, 1917
Diary of Captain Branwell Browntrout
We have just completed basic training. The only reason we are still here now is that it’s taking the gun manufacturers time to build specialst rifles for these brigades, so some of the troops are being outfitted with spiked maces, pikes, and shields made of steel plates that can deflect all but armor-piercing rounds. Only a Saysquack has the strength to lift them. The presence of these objects lends a rather Medieval quality to the training regimen.
It was a slow process, but now they march around the parade ground as one, “umph” in unison, salute smartly, and complete all their other drills on command. They know how to use their rifles and bayonets (and some of them are quite good, too). As we stood in the rain we had one final ceremony with the entire British Expeditionary Saysquack Corps in formation. General Haig personally pinned their Private First Class rank pins on the front row. About 3,000 of them were given their special-issue Lee-Enfields. Others received their pike or spiked mace. All bore their unit insignia and the inscription “Saysquack save the King” in Latin on the side. General Haig made a rousing speech and all the Saysquacks saluted him in unison. He had to climb a flight of stairs and ascend a podium to speak to them, for they are nearly twice as tall as their highest-ranking commanding officer.
I and my drill sergeants stood off to one side. At the end of it all, General Haig shook my hand and said “Well done, Captain! Well done!” loudly but in my ear he whispered, “Tell them to keep their bloody heads down.” I don’t know if this was a word of warning or a word of advice. Either way, I could not be more proud of this Corps, and despite what my Father thinks, I expect nothing but the most commendable service from them.
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