Forming new anti-unicorn brigades

September 17st, 1916

Cable from David Lloyd George, United Kingdom Secretary of State for War to Gen Douglas Haig. CLASSIFIED: Most Secret

We do not have the funds for ten anti-unicorn brigades. Demands for men and supplies are stretched to the limit. We can only fund one more anti-unicorn brigade at this time, but it will be larger than previous brigades. Previous tactics must change in response to battlefield realities. Perhaps the unicorn may be best fought with another type of monster, namely the Saysquack. We will fund a new unicorn hunting Saysquack fighting force to conduct guerilla operations in the previous theatre of action. You will plan and organize this unit no later than 31 Oct 1916 and begin preparations for training and recruitment forthwith. RUSH PREPARATIONS.

Like what you’re reading? Subscribe to my newsletter:

Care to read a hilarious account of Theodore Roosevelt hunting Bigfoot? Find it here:



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Dash Fire Diaries

Envisioning a past that never was. Step through a surreal portal where objective truth, imagined history and satirical fiction coexist.