September 8th, 1917 Diary of Major Horace S. Browntrout We have fled further into the mountains to avoid capture. We parted ways with the Optimistic Bandits, who have decided to flee into Russia where they think they will have better lives as a result of the Revolution. We gave them…

September 1st, 1917 Diary of Horace S. Browntrout We did what we had to do, to subdue our pursuers. When it was finished, I directed everyone to search for survivors and dig them out. This was performed with much grumbling from all but Stanley. The snow was deep, the hillside…

September 2nd, 1917 Diary of Hauptman (captain) Johann Wolf, 16. k.u.k. Sondereinsatzbrigade Alpeneinhorn, Trupp D (Imperial and Royal Special Mountain Unicorn Brigade) As I write I am a prisoner in the enemy special force’s camp. I am too injured to walk. They have treated me well and carried me this…

Excerpt from Reiten Kriegsdrachen des Todes (Riding War Dragons of Death), by Oberleutnant (First Lieutenant) Maximilian Weiss, 23rd k.u.k. Tiroler Fliegend Einhornwaffe (Imperial and Royal Tyrolean Flying Unicorn Brigade) We set the English skies aflame. Even our Valkyrie Zeppelins were more than just transports. They were attack ships and bombers…

August 17th, 1917 Diary of Milica Kovacevic, Bandit Leader. The Optimistic Rascals. There were about twenty of us left. We had just conducted a raid on an army supply depot and lost ten men. All we got out of it were five more rifles. We have been roaming from camp…

August 15th, 1917 Diary of Sir Ernest Shackleton We are on the ground now after having had a few minor difficulties with Her Majesty’s Airship №21, Zeta, also known as “The Flying Tubesteak.” Things went sideways right off. When our new commander showed up to take charge, one Major Horace…

August 14th, 1917. Field Operation Instructions (a.k.a. “orders”) to Major Horace S. Browntrout from Brigadier General Mac Allan Macaby, “Mac the Body Stacker.” CLASSIFIED: Most Secret After you have assembled your unit and equipage you will board His Majesty’s Airship Number 21 (Zeta), which will insert your platoon in a…

Excerpt from Refuge in the Trees, a Doctor’s Recollections of Treating Saysquacks During the Great War, by Dr. David Goodfellow After much pulling of strings, I was able to obtain funding for a small asylum in the French countryside near the village of Bon Endroit. The hospital was designed for…

Excerpt from Saysquack Policy, The Balfour Doctrine In general practice, a nation may not eat its deceased soldiers. Such activity would incur a stain on said nation’s conscience. However, in cases of dire necessity, such a stain could be removed with aid of proper moral justifications, thus re-purifying the national…